Bloom Where You Are Planted, & 33 More Things I’ve Learnt at 33

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I’ve never been a fan of birthdays. In fact, the only reason I look forward to my birthday is because I’ve built a tradition around smashing the daylights out of a khoi bag/pinãta on it (great way to release any amount of frustration.)

This year’s a little different. I’m turning 33 in a few days. If in my early 20s you’d told me that at 33 I would have built and scaled a company (LBB), worked with exceptional people, found mentors and advisors in some of the most incredible company and market builders in India, sold my company to India’s leading lifestyle retailer (Nykaa), and along the way made the best friends and found the best partner, I’d ask you to get the hell outta here (in an endearing way, I promise!) I’ve been taking out time to reflect on the past 7ish years of building my company, 13ish years of being employed, and 33 years of learning from the school of life.

A few things I’ve learnt, in random order.

1. Your parents are far from perfect. If you know they tried their best, that should be enough.
2. You can work your hardest, and still have crappy luck.
3. The odds of crappy luck reduce the harder (and smarter) you work.
4. Be a goddamn cheerleader! Root for your friends, your family, strangers, people you admire. Being happy for others is a super-power.
5. Friendships and relationships (personal and professional) are built over time. Do the legwork of checking in on people whose friendship matters to you. Drop a text, an email, make that call, send a gift when they have a kid or get a new job. Showing that you give a shit doesn’t make you a smaller person.
6. People will let you down. You’ve let people down, too.
7. Read more books. Read books that are right up your alley; read books that challenge how you think. Leave a boring book halfway.
8. Change your role-models every few years. Thank god it isn’t fashionable anymore to look up to founders with saviour complex.
9. I’m glad I didn’t peak early; most over-achievers from school have a tough time scaling later in life. This applies to founders and companies that peak early as well.
10. An observation: People who’ve scaled fairly well through their life are masters of consistency.
11. Reputation matters. Your reputation is built overtime. If you made mistakes early in your career, don’t sweat it. Just get better.
12. Deal with your baggage(s) as you go along. The complexes you’ve built through your childhood catch up with you in the strangest ways.
13. Speaking of which- figure out your relationship with money. Speaking of which, treat yo’self.
14. Related: Whoever says money doesn’t matter has too much of it.
15. Have hobbies. Let your mind wander. That Medium post you write, your new found love for architecture, striking a conversation with a stranger in a bookshop, that company you started as a tumblr blog, the podcast you run with a friend…. the things you do for fun could change your life someday.
16. Write. Even if you’re terrible at it. It’s the best way to process what you’re thinking.
17. You don’t have to share everything you write. Similarly, you don’t have to share everything you think. Especially on Twitter.
18. 90% of discontentment comes from not knowing what you want for yourself. The basest manifestation of this is envy. Envy makes people do regrettable things.
19. An observation: The most successful people I know move forward. They don’t hold on to their accolades; neither do they endlessly mull over their losses.
20. Related: Get over yourself.
21. Note to self: I’m really glad that I really really care about my work and my career.
22. Think and execute in frameworks.
23. Arrogance and humility go hand in hand. The trick is to know when to be arrogant and when to be humble.
24. Self-awareness is an asset. I’m an impulsive person. I would have made the biggest mistakes of my life had I not had colleagues, friends and advisors who counter-balanced my impulsivity.
25. Related: There’s all kinds of people in the world. It’s very easy to ‘find your tribe’ if you understand yourself better.
26. Victim mentality is a slippery slope- you’re more in control of your life and outcomes that you think you are.
27. Apart from your close family and friends, no one cares how tough you’ve had it, how relentless your challenges have been, how much you’ve had to power through. Deal with the punches and move forward.
28. Nothing feels as good as winning.
29. When triggered, don’t react, don’t respond.
30. Feedback from people you respect, even if delivered in a no-holds-barred way, is as asset. I am most grateful to people who cared enough to say it as it is.
31. The best bosses are hard-ass. You can be a hard-ass and not be an asshole.
32. Losing your friends, especially when you/they’re young, is the worst. Don’t let death be the only reminder that life is short.
33. Be goddamn grateful. Being grateful doesn’t mean you need to be content. Being grateful is acknowledging that you’ve got more than yourself to thank for where you are.

Fin.